I want to be a Da Ee Long....
Via email from Ms Snooze -
Subject: Loan Sharks in Singapore support opening of casino
Singapore's loan shark industry openly backed the proposal to build A
casino yesterday, saying it would contribute greatly to their growth.
Association of Hardship Loan Operators and Neighbourhood Gangsters (AH
LONG) spokesman Dr. Chao Ah Beng told the Ministry of Finance today that
the loan shark industry would benefit tremendously from the setting up of a
casino.
"We know the Gahmen say the casino will bring in tax revenue lah, employ
people lah, bring in money that is lost to Genting Highlands and casino
cruises, lah, all that sort of thing," said Dr. Chao, "But it din'ch
realize the casino will also boost our industry, which is another good
reason for setting it up."
Dr. Chao, who lectures in money-laundering and grievous bodily harm At Hoot
U, the Geylang-based tertiary institution for bengs and lians, said the
casino would enable the loan shark industry to diversify and upgrade its
existing line of products.
"Last time, we all lend people money to pay off their gambling debts," he
explained. "Now, with the casino, we can also offer them high interest
loans to afford to pay the entry fee to get into the casino in the first
place."
Dr. Chao also predicted a rise in their traditional service of debt
recovery. "I would definitely invest in pork futures. With more gamblers,
it makes sense that there will be more debtors, and a corresponding surge
in demand for pig's heads."
Dr. Chao, who also pens an occasional advice column for Talking****.com,
also announced that Hoot U hopes to sign a memorandum of understanding with
the proposed casino. "The casino sure need bouncers to keep the riff-raff
out, ah lians to attract the high rollers, heavies to hoot cheaterbugs,
that sort of thing, and Hoot U is the region's premier producer for
manpower in these sectors. So we hope to establish an internship
on-the-job-training programme."
In other casino-related news, legendary Las Vegas casino operator Harrah's
has announced that it will be changing its name to "Harry's" in order to
improve its bidding prospects for the Singapore project.
Subject: Loan Sharks in Singapore support opening of casino
Singapore's loan shark industry openly backed the proposal to build A
casino yesterday, saying it would contribute greatly to their growth.
Association of Hardship Loan Operators and Neighbourhood Gangsters (AH
LONG) spokesman Dr. Chao Ah Beng told the Ministry of Finance today that
the loan shark industry would benefit tremendously from the setting up of a
casino.
"We know the Gahmen say the casino will bring in tax revenue lah, employ
people lah, bring in money that is lost to Genting Highlands and casino
cruises, lah, all that sort of thing," said Dr. Chao, "But it din'ch
realize the casino will also boost our industry, which is another good
reason for setting it up."
Dr. Chao, who lectures in money-laundering and grievous bodily harm At Hoot
U, the Geylang-based tertiary institution for bengs and lians, said the
casino would enable the loan shark industry to diversify and upgrade its
existing line of products.
"Last time, we all lend people money to pay off their gambling debts," he
explained. "Now, with the casino, we can also offer them high interest
loans to afford to pay the entry fee to get into the casino in the first
place."
Dr. Chao also predicted a rise in their traditional service of debt
recovery. "I would definitely invest in pork futures. With more gamblers,
it makes sense that there will be more debtors, and a corresponding surge
in demand for pig's heads."
Dr. Chao, who also pens an occasional advice column for Talking****.com,
also announced that Hoot U hopes to sign a memorandum of understanding with
the proposed casino. "The casino sure need bouncers to keep the riff-raff
out, ah lians to attract the high rollers, heavies to hoot cheaterbugs,
that sort of thing, and Hoot U is the region's premier producer for
manpower in these sectors. So we hope to establish an internship
on-the-job-training programme."
In other casino-related news, legendary Las Vegas casino operator Harrah's
has announced that it will be changing its name to "Harry's" in order to
improve its bidding prospects for the Singapore project.
